About Amanda

I used to love and receive love like I had little T-Rex arms.

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I realize this is an odd metaphor, but stay with me.

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For decades, I wanted to love God and people with my arms outstretched and an open heart. But spiritually and emotionally, I was built like a T-Rex. My arms were weak and ineffective.

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Meanwhile, I had a huge head filled with anxious thoughts. I carried the weight of an intellectual form of Christianity that was not at all comforting. I over-trusted in my own flawed intellect. I lived with depression and dread.

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I had big, strong legs that could run fast and serve hard. I tried to make myself essential in every area: as a volunteer at church, professionally as a journalist, as a friend who always showed up, as a wife who kept the perfect house, and as a mother who was fully present and baked themed birthday cakes.

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And I had a big tail dragging behind me, a weighty mass of undiagnosed issues. Perfectionism. Childhood trauma. Clinical depression. Codependency. Addictions. Shame. Striving. As I moved through life, my tail broke relationships and undid my hard work.

 

Then a mental health breakdown, a season of Christian recovery, and getting to know the true heart of Jesus transformed me.

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That story of transformation is a long one and you can read some of it here. But this is where I landed and the place I’d like to take you:

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I am now a wholehearted follower of Jesus. I am rested, creative, free, aware of my purpose, and at peace with my life stage. I’ve learned to receive the comfort and peace of God with my arms fully outstretched; to embrace my emotions instead of numb them out; to live in grace-filled, encouraging, authentic relationship with others; and to love with more knowledge and depth of insight.

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I’d love to come talk with your groups. I’d love to see God grow your arms to receive abundant life!